I was born confident.
Not patting myself on the back. It just a fact. It’s how I’ve always felt and according to my parents, it’s how I always was.
That doesn’t mean that my confidence hasn’t been tested. Believe me, it has, thousands of times.
…and it still gets tested today.
As a matter of fact, the more successful that you become, the more the universe, situations, and people will test you and try to get you back in line to think like and fit in with everybody else.
Confidence is everything.
Industry norms are dangerous.
Once you have confidence, the experiences and competence will follow.
So how do you make confidence? (And protect it?)
Here’s what I do… (In no particular order)
- I spend a lot of time alone – 2-3 hours a day and once a month, 24 hours straight. – This gives me the time and the tranquility that I need to gather my thoughts, take notes, and refocus on what’s important.
- I only spend time with people I feel good around. People who are already comfortable in their own skin and don’t feel the need to prove anything to me, who don’t bust my chops so that they feel better, and are comfortable and supportive of who I am. If they laugh at my jokes…even better. Even if I’m misjudging people or situations, I trust my feelings. I go with my gut.
- I read a book a day, exercise 7 days a week, and get outside as much as possible.
- I’ve very observant – Everywhere I go, I look for success signals… “What can I learn from this?”
- Not sure why this is but the fewer things I own, the more confident I feel. So I am always looking for ways to downsize and eliminate stuff.
- I make darn sure that I don’t envy anyone and don’t add meaning to facts.
- I live in the moment. I really don’t think much about tomorrow (or yesterday).
- I don’t allow myself to be around petty talk. Petty talk drives me nuts.
- I am generous. I always pay the bill, tip well, and look for unexpected ways to help others in need. I don’t give “money” any more respect than it deserves. (The less I take money seriously, the easier it is to attract. At least, that’s what I have found.)
- I take responsibility for my thoughts, actions, and life. I blame no one for anything. If I have a problem, I fix it. If I have a challenge, I put in the time to overcome it. If I don’t know the answer, I figure it out…ideally on my own. If I can’t, I make sure that I am in fair exchange with the person who can help me out.
Here’s a great quote from Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos. I think this also applies to confidence…
“Happiness is really just about four things:
perceived control, perceived progress, connectedness
(number and depth of your relationships),
and vision/meaning (being part of
something bigger than yourself).”
One other thing…
Trust me, there is NOTHING wrong with you.
NOTHING about you needs fixing.
There is NOTHING to fix.